So, the builder called us on the first morning of our excavation to let us know that all was going well, even though the land was very rocky. Bony, as he so jovially put it. They were pulling up boulders "the size of Volkswagons" he said. And so they were. Rock after rock after rock. Some stayed in nice neat piles, just as they were placed. Others rolled off, went crashing down the hill and effortlessly took out fully grown trees that we had heretofore planned on keeping. One ambitious boulder landed in the road and made a credible effort to block traffic until it was pushed off to the side. I'm sure our soon-to-be neighbors are describing us in glowing terms even as I type.

Incidentally, if any of you have a desire for a great big rock to grace your yard, Craig and I are your go-to, can-do couple. We have rocks of every shape, color and size. Rocks "R" Us. We can make you SUCH a deal! Heck, we'll even GIVE you a rock if you ask nicely, although you're responsible for shipping. If you want to pay UPS to ship you a 2000 pound rock, I will find a box to put it in. Gift wrapping is available for an additional fee.

At about three o'clock that fateful afternoon, things got more complicated. After the nice man with the backhoe pulled out all the little rocks, (the Volkswagon sized ones) he discovered . . . the big one. A rough estimate would put it at about the size of the planet Pluto. We were so cute and naive when we began our housebuilding adventure. "What lovely property," we enthused. "What a nice hill! I wonder how this beautiful hill came to be, here on our very own land. How do you suppose it formed?"

Now we know. Some evil person has secretly hidden Pluto under it.

So, that's where things stand at the moment. Our builder has informed us that we have no choice but to blow the ledge up. That should further endear us to our neighbors. (KABOOM!!!! Darn those Enslins!)

If blasting doesn't work, I have a backup plan. I was thinking that instead of building a house, we could just pile all the little vehicle sized rocks on top of the big rock, and make a nice cave for the two of us to live in. We could hunt the resident deer for food, drink water from the swamp across the street, wear clothes made of chipmunk skins and oak leaves, and in general make a nice little life in the wilderness for ourselves. It's kind of romantic, if one ignores the fact that we live in New England and it gets damned cold for a good part of the year. (Note to self: Learn to make fire using rocks and sticks.)

You're all invited over for a visit. Don't worry--I'm planning a guest cave. We got plenty of rocks.

Backhoe and boulders	One of the small rocks.

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